


Resolution

by theundeadsiren (rhoen)



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Military, Public Display of Affection, Reunions, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-18
Updated: 2015-04-18
Packaged: 2018-03-23 12:32:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3768724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhoen/pseuds/theundeadsiren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SFW version of Rick's Passing Out parade, in which he's overjoyed to see Kieren again, but Bill is a dick.</p><p>Rated M due to homophobic language only, not sexual or violent content.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Resolution

**Author's Note:**

> Titles will be the death of me :

**You may not take this fic and edit or reupload it - in whole or in part - without my express permission. This includes translations.**

If you are reading this anywhere other than my (theundeadsiren) tumblr, AO3 or livejournal, then please [let me know](http://theundeadsiren.tumblr.com/ask/), including a link to where you found it, so I can take steps to have it removed. For a list of people given permission to use parts of my works, please see [here](http://theundeadsiren.tumblr.com/permission).

Thank you for respecting my wishes.

* * *

 

Rick was good at staying still. He was a good soldier, and today that became official. All he had to do was endure this for a few more minutes, and follow the steps the unit had been practiing over and over for this moment. He just had to stay still a few minutes longer.

It had never been harder to do. He wanted to grin, to fidget. Excitement and anticipation thrummed through his body, and he longed to turn towards the seating and seek out the familiar faces he knew were there. He pushed the desire down, obeying the drill sergeant’s commands. It was easier for those few moments he flawlessly followed orders and his actions blended seamlessly with the others around him.

And then they were still again. Waiting. They were done, and any second now…

When the dismissal finally came, Rick felt relief flooding his body. Now able to act on the impulse and desire that had been so hard to hold back, he turned with a grin and immediately started heading towards the stands where family and friends were gathered, the others around him doing the same. It took Rick a fraction of a second to locate his parents, and he made a beeline for them, still looking around for the familiar strawberry blond hair he wanted to see more than anything. Kieren was hanging back, though, and as Rick reached his parents he focused on them first, greeted them with a grin and taking his dad’s outstretched hand, shaking it firmly; proudly. His dad was proud of him. Rick had to fight again to remain still, allowing only a grin.

“Well done, son, well done,” his dad said in a rough voice – probably as close to emotion as he would ever get. Rick recognised that, and gave an acknowledging nod, before turning to his mum and hugging her.

“My Rick,” she said, sounding close to tears. As they pulled apart, she fussed with his uniform, running her hand over it as if to brush away a stray thread Rick knew wasn’t there. He weathered the attention though, but found himself unable to hold back any more. He looked towards Kieren, excitement bubbling up in his chest as he looked over his oldest friend. It had been a while since he’d seen his parents, but even longer since he’d seen Kieren – months, unbearable months. Rick had missed him so much, and in that moment he didn’t think about holding back. He rushed Kieren, flinging his arms around him and catching him in such a fierce hug Kieren nearly fell back in surprise, held up only by Rick’s arms tight around his body.

Kieren felt so real. Rick has spent so long missing him, trying to imagine how it would feel to finally see him again. What he’d imagined couldn’t compare to the warm weight against his body, the exclamation of surprise Kieren had given, and the tentatively returned hug as Kieren’s arms wrapped around Rick, neither of them letting go. He could smell the inviting mixture of whatever washing powder Sue used, Kieren’s shampoo, and something warm and distinctly Kieren, and found himself nuzzling at Kieren’s neck to find more of it. His heart was hammering in his chest, a strange mixture of elation and anticipation. He couldn’t quite get the words he wanted to say past the tightness in his throat.

When he pulled back, it was just enough to look at Kieren, meeting that warm, open gaze and letting his eyes flicker over Kieren’s features. He was even more beautiful that Rick remembered, and an ache blossomed in his chest in a way he’d never known before.

Rick had no idea how long it took him to reach the decision to do so, but there was so little space between them it didn’t take much to close it – just a tiny fraction of movement, eyes on Kieren’s and looking for hesitation, before Rick closed the rest of the distance, eyes closing instinctively as his lips met Kieren’s, everything else fading to nothingness. Rick could feel the roughness of his own lips against the smooth dampness of Kieren’s where he’d probably been biting them as he always did, and held the touch there, heart hammering in his chest, both excited and afraid, not even daring to breathe. And then Kieren pushed almost imperceptively into the kiss, his arms tightening around Rick. Rushed with relief, Rick pulled back a fraction, before renewing the kiss, smiling into it as his confidence grew. His hand pushed into the hair at the base of Kieren’s neck, loving the softness of it as he held Kieren to him. He felt Kieren relaxing and smiling too, and pulled back, almost laughing as he tried to catch his breath. This was what he wanted, but had spent so long being afraid of, and he couldn’t quite remember why. With one final press of his lips to Kieren’s, he pulled back, hand finding Kieren’s and taking it in his own, lacing their fingers tightly together.

When he turned back to his parents, the first thing he saw was his dad, and his expression, and Rick felt his good mood crumble. Right, this was why. His dad was red in the face, stunned and furious, his eyes fearfully darting around to see if anyone had noticed, before fixing Kieren with a piercing glare. Rick knew no one had noticed, and that no one would care – they were all too caught up in their own reunions and excitement to care about anything else. He tightened his hand on Kieren’s reassuringly, standing as if to attention and using his height to make his point – he would defend Kieren, and wasn’t going to change his mind on the matter. He wasn’t going to move. Rick had learnt just how stubborn he could be during training, when he’d just refused point blank to quit, and he could feel the same determination gripping him now – this wasn’t something he was going to let go of.

“I knew it!” Bill hissed. “I knew it Janet! I told you! Poison! Filth!”

The words hurt. They were clearly directed at Kieren, who Rick’s dad was looking at with such venom, but Rick felt them just as keenly as if they were aimed at him. He refused to let it show, though. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that a few of the people nearest had noticed his dad’s words.

Beside Bill, Janet touched her husband’s arm, as if she might be able to still him. “Come on, love, let him be.”

“I won’t have it, Janet! I will not stand for it!”

His voice was louder now, carrying clearly to those around them. Rick kept his expression carefully neutral, not wanting the embarrassment he was feeling to show.

“Vile filth! I will not have you near my son!”

“Bill,” Janet tried again. When Bill ignored her and made to take a step towards Kieren, Rick stepped forward, blocking him. Beside him, he could feel Kieren shaking, his grip on Rick’s hand so tight it was starting to hurt. He didn’t mind; it helped to ground him.

 “Kieren is my friend. He is part of my life. I want him here. He has every right to be here.”

“He’s a disgusting faggot, and I will not let him poison my son,” Bill hissed. Rick was proud of himself for not flinching, although he could feel himself starting to waver. He couldn’t remember ever having stood up to his dad. Today was supposed to be one of the highlights of his military career, and was the best achievement of his life so far. He hadn’t wanted it to go like this, and he didn’t know what else to do other than stand there separating the two people he wanted acceptance from most in the world.

His silence seemed to work, and after another sickeningly tense few seconds, Bill made a noise of frustration, before turning and stalking off, clearly beyond livid. Rick watched him go, the weight of his father’s disappointment tearing through him. He then saw the look his mum gave him – pitying and sympathetic. He noticed she didn’t turn to follow her husband.

Kieren’s hand was still fiercely gripping his, and Rick turned to him. He found himself surprised to see it was anger written across Kieren’s face, not fear as he’d expected.

“Ren, I’m so sorry,” he said in a rush, raising his arm to pull Kieren close without letting go of his hand. It was comforting to feel him so close, and Rick just hoped it gave Kieren the same comfort.

“I shouldn’t have come.”

“Don’t say that,” Rick begged. He knew those weren’t the first words Kieren wanted to say, and that Kieren was holding back in his criticism of Rick’s dad. “I wanted you to be here.”

Kieren had buried his face in Rick’s shoulder, not letting go.

“Boys?”

They broke apart abruptly, finding Janet looking at them, clearly uncertain about intruding. She looked between them, and then took a tentative step closer, her arms out. Rick turned to her, grateful for her acceptance, and found only one of her arms wrapped around his body – the other around Kieren. She was embracing them both.

After one of the strangest few moments of his life, Rick felt her pulling away and giving him a pat on the arm.

“I’m so proud of you,” she said in a strained voice. She sounded as torn as Rick felt. Today had been tainted by his dad’s reaction – he refused to think that his choice to embrace and kiss Kieren was what something wrong that he should apologise for or feel ashamed about. He’d felt too good to care about hiding what he wanted, and he wanted Kieren. He’d always wanted Kieren.

And his mum was okay with it.

“Thanks, mum,” Rick said quietly. She gave him a small smile, looking relieved, although still lost. Rick felt a pang of sympathy – she was caught between the two men in her life, her husband and her son. He wished there was some way to make this easier, but he couldn’t change his dad’s reaction. He certainly wasn’t going to change his actions. His hand still held onto Kieren’s, as neither of them had let go since he’d taken it.

“I’m going to… I’ll go see…”

Rick nodded. “Okay mum, we’ll wait here.”

As his mum excused herself, Kieren turned to Rick.

“Why –”

“Can I kiss you again?” Rick asked hurriedly, cutting Kieren off before realising he’d done so. Kieren hesitated, looking stunned, before a grin spread slowly across his face. His answer was to lean in, surprising Rick as he kissed him lightly on the lips.

“You pick your moments,” Kieren murmured softly in the space between them, his hand coming up and bumping Rick’s hat. A second later, Kieren pulled it off, arm around Rick’s neck as he held the cap between his fingers. It was hard to read his expression – there was a mixture of hardness and defiance in his eyes, no doubt sparked by Bill’s reaction, but also excitement and something teasing that Rick had forgotten Kieren was capable of, and that he thought made Kieren seem infinitely more attractive, but also dangerous. Rick’s eyes were drawn to Kieren’s lips, still feeling the tingling pressure on his own where they had brushed.

“Better late than never?” he asked absentmindedly.

“Yeah, yeah. Now shut up and kiss me,” Kieren demanded, lips already on Rick’s, preventing him from saying anything in return.

Rick gladly did as he was told, returning the kiss with all the focus and energy he had always wanted to, but had never been brave enough to try. This was what should have been, and so nearly had been all those strange, tense times between them, but he’d been too afraid of letting happen. It was so easy to part his lips against Kieren’s and taste him, finding everything about him inviting. Rick couldn’t question how or why it felt so right; he could only question why he’d not done this before.

Kieren’s arms were tight around him, his free hand pressing against the fabric of Rick’s uniform, and Rick let his own hands rest at the base of Kieren’s spine and at the nape of his neck as the kiss deepened. From somewhere nearby, he heard a wolfwhistle, which he couldn’t quite ignore when he heard his name following it – so much for everyone minding their own business. His hand left Kieren’s hair, giving a one-fingered salute in the general direction of whoever it was. He tried to stifle his reaction when he realised Kieren had done the exact same, but it was too late, and he had to pull back to snicker.

“I didn’t tell anyone,” he admitted, focused only on Kieren. Rick wondered what there might have been to tell anyway – all there had been were a few strange, strained moments between himself and his best mate who he had missed painfully since starting Basic, but other than that…?

“Guess they know now,” Kieren said with a hesitant smile, as if he was uncertain whether Rick would still be okay with this despite what the fact it was Rick who had initiated the whole thing, or if he was worried about how the people around them would react. Rick was kinda curious too, but he trusted them not to react as his dad had done.

“Guess they do,” he acknowledge, giving Kieren one final, chaste kiss, before pulling back. Kieren replaced the cap he’d taken from Rick.

“Why did you do it?” Kieren asked, finishing the question Rick had cut short earlier. He paused, considering the question, and how best to answer.

“I just really, really wanted to.”

“What about your dad…?”

Rick felt his shoulders slump, despite how well he’d done today at holding himself together. “I didn’t really think. But I’m glad I didn’t. I wish he’d… maybe it was just a kneejerk reaction? Maybe he’ll calm down?”

He wanted Kieren’s assurance that that would be the case, but Kieren didn’t give it, and Rick knew why – his dad would probably never get over what Rick had done. Maybe Rick had gone too far. Maybe he should have held back and not been selfish.

But when he looked at Kieren, he felt that excitement rising in his chest again, and a strange tightness catch his breath. It was such a conflicting emotion to what he felt when he thought about his dad’s reaction, and for a moment Rick struggled to work out which way was up.

“You’re thinking too much,” Kieren said gently. His hands found Rick’s and took them, swinging them slightly as Kieren took half a step back, head tilting slightly as he seemed to take in Rick’s appearance with a critical eye. He obviously liked what he saw.

“Oi, Macy!”

They both turned towards the sound, and Rick gave a snort of annoyance and amusement to find his redhead dorm mate coming up to them and stopped just short, grinning.

“What is it, Wilkes?”

“Folks want to meet ya, want to come over?”

“Ren?” he turned to Kieren, leaving the choice up to him. Wilkes knew he’d interrupted something – he was the one who had catcalled as they were kissing – and would respectfully piss off if Rick told him to do so, but there was camaraderie between all the guys, and Rick had been friends with Wilkes in particular. They’d talked a lot about home, about their families, and their interests – it was just that Rick had never talked about Kieren as anything more than his best friend. He wasn’t sure how to approach this.

“Sure?” Kieren shrugged. He had let go of one of Rick’s hands, leaving his right free. In sync with Kieren’s actions, Rick formally introduced the two – or at least as formally as he could manage when he wasn’t certain what Kieren was to him anymore.

“So yeah, Wilkes, this is Kieren, and Ren, this ginger freak is Adam Wilkes, one of the annoying bastards I’ve been forced to share a dorm with.”

“He’s heartless,” Wilkes said in a hurt tone, which neither Kieren nor Rick bought. The redhead took Kieren’s hand, shaking it. “Nice to meet you, Kieren.”

“Likewise, Adam,” Kieren said politely. “Sorry you got lumped with this dickhead.”

“Oi! I’m standing right here, you know,” Rick protested half-heartedly. Kieren looked round at him with an unforgiving smirk, and Rick knew for sure in that moment that he needn’t worry about Kieren getting on with the friends he’d made here – just as long as they cared as little about Rick having kissed Kieren as Wilkes did.

Wilkes was leading the short distance to where his family was gathered. “That was your dad, huh?” he asked, his voice sympathetic. Rick tried not to recoil at the memory, and the embarrassment he felt that it had happened around his new friends and family – nearly everyone who he’d been in Phase 1 with would be with him in Phase 2.

“Yeah,” he signed.

“I’m sorry, mate,” Wilkes said apologetically. He was a good guy – a deliberately annoying dick a lot of the time, but no more so than Rick was to him – and brought his hand to rest on Rick’s shoulder in a show of solidarity and sympathy. “Hope he comes around.”

“Me too,” Rick replied thinly. He felt Kieren squeeze his hand.

“Oh, and,” Wilke’s tone had changed to one of conspiracy and warning. “Whatever you do, do not tell my parents about that incident with the soap, ‘kay?”

Rick tried not to start laughing as he remembered the incident in question. “Got it,” he nodded, fighting to keep his face straight. He caught Kieren’s confused expression. _Tell you later_ , he mouthed, attention shifting as Wilkes started introducing Rick to the rest of his family. He introduced Kieren as ‘Macy’s friend’, and Rick supposed that was fair enough. They could take from it what they wanted – he and Kieren hadn’t let go of each other’s hand.

-

Janet had rejoined them a short while later, and after Rick tugged her to his free side with one arm and introduced her to the group of people gathered – a few of the other guys had joined them – he lowered his voice, not wanting anyone to hear. “Dad?”

She simply shook her head. “He’ll come round in a bit.”

He didn’t believe her. His mood was precariously balanced – his dad’s rejection and disappointment pulling him down, while Kieren’s constant presence and the celebratory atmosphere of his friends buoyed him. This wasn’t how he’d wanted today to go. He didn’t want the negative. Yet he couldn’t imagine it having gone any other way. The thought of seeing Kieren again and not giving in to those feelings… he couldn’t have done that.

“Didn’t know you had a boyfriend,” someone said at one point. Rick had glanced at Kieren, judging his reaction before he responded with a shrug – Kieren had seemed amused and more interested in how Rick would act than he was in giving away he thought about the assumption, and had clearly relaxed despite being surrounded by strangers while still holding Rick’s hand.

“Well I’ve got to keep some things from you nosey gits.”

That earned him a few amused snorts of laughter, and the conversation moved on. It wasn’t long before they had to head to the mess hall anyway, and Rick did so flanked by Kieren and his mum, the good mood returning much stronger than before.

He was absolutely stunned when his dad actually joined them. He looked strained, and stank of cigarette smoke, but Rick supposed it was a miracle he was there at all.

“Rick, Janet,” Bill nodded to each of them in turn as he took his seat beside Janet, and across from Rick and Kieren. He made it abundantly clear that he was going to ignore Kieren. Rick’s hand found his friend’s, and gave him a reassuring squeeze.

“Good thing the weather stayed dry, aint it?” Bill asked, forcing small-talk and helping himself to food that had already been laid out before he’d arrived.

“Aye, it is, dad,” Rick agreed, wondering where the ability to reply had come from. The whole thing was forced, but his dad was actually there, sitting across from him. He had come back. Rick didn’t know what small wonder his mum had performed, but he was grateful for it, even if it was hard when his dad was adamantly ignoring Kieren, and Kieren wanted absolutely nothing to do with Bill. It was strained, but Rick could work with it.

As the final course was being finished, Bill stood and excused himself for a cigarette. Rick gave a small nod, and a second later his mum left too. He was incredibly grateful for whatever she’d said to get his dad in the room, and knew he’d be grateful to her for whatever she said to Bill now – she was no doubt thanking him for coming, on Rick’s behalf.

Now unafraid of doing so, Rick leant over to Kieren and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Kieren raised an eyebrow at him in response.

“What was that for?”

Rick just shrugged. “Felt like it.”

Kieren gave a short laugh, leaning back. “Well, whatever. I’m stuffed.”

Kieren’s hand found Rick’s, pulling it from the table and onto his lap where he traced over Rick’s fingers absentmindedly.

“You know earlier?” he eventually asked.

“Mm?” Rick waited patiently for Kieren to specify which moment he was thinking of.

“When that guy said he didn’t know you had a boyfriend?”

“Yeah?”

Kieren fell silent though, hesitating for such a long time that Rick’s stomach started tying itself in knots, nervous as to what Kieren might say.

“Did you mind?”

“No.”

“Would you mind?”

“No.”

“If we…?”

“Do you want to?”

Kieren fell silent again, thankfully not for as long as before. Rick’s heart was beating far too fast in his chest though, nervous excitement filling the space between them.

“You’d have to write to me more often. And call. And visit. I want to see you,” Kieren finally demanded.

“Done. I’m not writing every day though – you know I suck at writing.”

“Once a week, then?”

“At least once a week,” Rick promised.

“And we can see each other more often?”

He nodded. “Of course.”

Kieren seemed to take a moment to consider, before his face broke into a wide, infectious grin, warmth filling his gaze as he looked at Rick.

“Okay.”

And with that simple word, there was finally a name to whatever it was that had grown between them. Like before, Rick didn’t really care who saw as he leant in and kissed Kieren, tasting the sweetness lingering on his lips, before sitting back and no doubt looking far too damn pleased for himself. He deserved it, though, he reminded himself.

“So, any more showy parades I can turn up to and turn on their head?” Kieren grinned. Rick gave a short laugh.

“I think we’d have to elope to upset my dad that much again.”

“It could be arranged,” Kieren said with dark humour lacing his tone, his grin dangerous. It was painfully clear to Rick in that moment that there would never be any love lost between his dad and Kieren. Maybe they could learn to ignore each other much as they had done during the meal, and go on blatantly denying the existence of the other. Maybe they would fight and bicker whenever they were in a room together, always trying to one-up and undermine each other. Rick didn’t want that. He wanted his father’s acceptance, and he wanted Kieren’s friendship, and for Kieren to know he was accepted too. But that would never happen. Amongst his army mates, perhaps, but Rick’s dad would always hate Kieren – always had – and to regain his dad’s approval, Rick would have to cut Kieren out of his life, because Bill would never accept him. Rick couldn’t imagine doing that – he’d tried before, all those years ago at school. It hadn’t worked then, and definitely wouldn’t work now. He’d found something he wanted to explore and take the time to enjoy, savouring every moment of it for as long as he possibly could. It didn’t matter what happened between himself and Kieren, because they always had been and always would be friends first. Rick couldn’t imagine ever losing that, and there was no way he was going to give it up, nor the possibility of what their relationship could become.

If there was one thing Rick had learnt since joining up, it was that he was stubborn. There was no way he was going to quit when there was something he wanted this badly, no matter what stood in his way.

He wasn’t going to let go of Kieren, not ever.

“Rick?”

“Hey, want to get out of here for a bit?”

That familiar grin lit up Kieren’s face again.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe I do better with PWP...


End file.
